


If you're looking for fast love.

by Readingfanfics



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Doubtful Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending, Insecure Sherlock, Jealous John, M/M, Manipulation, Tears, and maybe a little bit Sherlocks, behind the scenes john, it's just all johns fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readingfanfics/pseuds/Readingfanfics
Summary: “John was right.”“He was right. You do want me.”“At least now I understand why you keep me around.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I call this the 'jealous john' fic in my head but John is in the background in this. His actions/manipulation sets the whole story off but he's only mentioned, he won't make an appearance. 
> 
> This is a SHERSTRADE fic, the end relationship is Sherlock/Lestrade. 
> 
> Just wanted to make that clear so there are not people disappointed/upset.
> 
> With all that said; I hope you enjoy and see you soon.  
> \--------------------------------------------------

Sherlock's lips were on his before Greg could act. They were soft, just as Greg had always imagined it. His body was reacting much faster than his mind and he let out a hungry moan as he felt the tip of Sherlock's tongue on his lips. Asking for more.

 

His hands found their way to Sherlock's waist, bringing them closer together, Sherlock's hands grabbing his shoulders and holding on tightly. His whole body was instantly alive, the stress and frustration of their last case slipping away as Sherlock pressed against him, his tongue still begging for more.

 

Greg's mouth opened and he let out another moan as Sherlock's tongue slipped in, taking him apart in seconds, making his knees wobble as his hands slid down to Sherlock's arse, finally able to squeeze it, feel how firm and strong it was.

 

It was even better than Greg had imagined it.

 

“Greg.”

 

Sherlock broke the kiss and Greg blinked his eyes, trying to get back into the moment. His hands were still placed on Sherlock's arse, Sherlock's hands grabbing onto him as his eyes scanned Greg's face.

 

 _Gorgeous_.

 

That was the only thing in his mind as Sherlock watched him, face slightly flushed, lips redder than before, a little wet and Greg wanted to kiss him again. They were still pressed together, Greg feeling his beginning erection against Sherlock's leg, amazed by how fast his body had reacted to only a kiss.

 

“John was right.”

 

Sherlock's voice finally snapped him out of his trance and he shook his head as he focused on the man in his arms.

 

John?

 

He looked at Sherlock's face, trying to see what the man was thinking but he'd never been as good at it. He wanted to focus on Sherlock's lips, so inviting and soft. Now that he knew how Sherlock tasted he wasn't sure if he could go without. That mix of tea, cigarettes and other things Greg couldn't pinpoint. Yet.

 

But something had changed in the seconds Greg had been distracted, feeling Sherlock's body tense against his, his face getting harder as Sherlock still stared at him. The look in Sherlock's eyes send a shiver down Greg's back and when the man moved he let him, already hating the space between them.

 

“He was right. You do want me.”

 

Any warm and loving feelings Greg had left in his body were gone when Sherlock's tone registered in his ear. Accusing and furious. Sherlock took another step back, folding his arms across his chest and it was so strange Greg had to blink his eyes again. He'd never seen Sherlock stand like that before around him, had never heard that much venom in his voice, seen that fury in his eyes and it left him speechless for a moment.

 

“At least now I understand why you keep me around.”

 

Sherlock's mouth was a tight and angry line, so different than when they'd kissed. Greg took a step forward, hand out to smooth it away. What was going on?

 

“Don't touch me!”

 

Sherlock knocked Greg's hand away, his eyes shooting fire and Greg found his voice again.

 

“What's going on? You kissed me, Sherlock!”

 

“Yes, to prove a theory and I can't believe John was right!”

 

“What has John got to do with this?!”

 

Greg felt anger rise at the mention of John's name. He had never understood what Sherlock saw in the man and anytime John's name came up bad things followed.

 

“He told me you wanted me, wanted to _fuck_ me and that's the only reason you let me work with you! And he's right!”

 

The betrayed look on Sherlock's face almost broke Greg's heart but then the words filtered through his mind and he stepped back in shock.

 

“He said what?!”

 

“Oh, don't deny it Lestrade! How didn't I see this sooner? Stupid! It all makes sense now!”

 

Sherlock threw his hands up in the air, the air around them turning to acid and Greg had to lean against his desk, holding onto it to try and stop himself from punching the wall. _That bastard!_

 

“He told me it didn't make sense for you to hire me, an ex-junkie, barely out of rehab. He said it was only logical there had to be another reason.”

 

“Sherlock.”

 

“The age difference was a sign of course. Maybe it turns you on? John told me to be careful, to make sure to find out what was really the reason you allowed me to help.”

 

Sherlock kept talking, walking back and forth quickly, the speed of his words only getting faster. Greg felt his chest hurt, his legs shaking, vision narrowing as Sherlock kept talking.

 

“I didn't believe him, nobody wants to fuck me, especially not someone like you. So I had to test it, had to prove to John that that wasn't the reason you asked for help. But it's true, you do want to _fuck_ me. How could I have been so stupid!?”

 

“STOP IT!”

 

They both looked at each other in shock, Sherlock's eyes wide and worried and Greg heard his heart beat rapidly, too fast, as if he was going to faint.

 

“Lestrade?”

 

The concern in Sherlock's eyes was growing and Greg opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He closed his mouth again, swallowing, trying to find words but all that was inside him was rage and humiliation. His body felt like exploding, his hands gripping his desk tightly and his eyes landed on Sherlock's face.

 

“Greg, I-”

 

He could only shake his head, taking deep breaths and Sherlock didn't move, almost didn't breathe. It felt like the whole world had stopped moving, waiting on Greg to come back to life.

 

“How,” Greg swallowed again, eyes still on Sherlock. “How can you possibly think so little of me?”

 

Sherlock's face changed for a millisecond, a millisecond of shame and doubt and Greg stood up straighter, his fingers hurting as he released his desk.

 

“How can you ever think I would do that to you? Has John dazzled you so much that you lost your ability to think?”

 

Sherlock's face paled, his eyes wide again but Greg didn't break contact, didn't take back his words.

 

“We've known each other for almost a year and a half now Sherlock. We've been through a lot in that time, not all of it pleasant.” He saw Sherlock flinch and a small part of him was glad about it. “You've been friends with John for what, six months?”

 

A tiny nod before Sherlock looked at the ground.

 

“LOOK AT ME!” Greg barked, slamming his hand on the desk and Sherlock looked up with frightful eyes, biting his bottom lip. The lips he'd felt just moments before.

 

“I don't know what John's game is but I won't stand for this Sherlock. You humiliated me, do you get that? Not only do you believe what that bastard said, you used me.”

 

“I didn't believe him, I came here to prove-”

 

“But the second I reacted, the second I kissed you back, you could have stopped. But you didn't Sherlock. You made me believe-”

 

Greg stopped, feeling his throat get tight, eyes starting to burn.

 

“Greg, I didn't mean-”

 

“No. Don't lie to me, Sherlock. I won't apologize for my feelings for you. This was wrong Sherlock, on so many levels. I think- I think you should leave now.”

 

“But Greg-”

 

Greg held up a hand and Sherlock stopped, eyes full of shame and sadness.

 

“Tell John he won.”

 

“Won?”

 

“He's got you all to himself now.”

 

“Greg, what are you-?”

 

Sherlock's voice was pleading, wringing his hands nervously as his eyes bored into Greg's.

 

“I don't think we should work together anymore Sherlock. I can only allow people on my team that trust me, that won't think I only brought them in because I want to- want to f- _fuck_ them.”

 

Greg felt his stomach contract as he whispered the words. He felt lightheaded, throat and chest hurting, the places Sherlock had touched burning and his mouth tasted vile as he watched Sherlock standing there, his face in shock and confusion.

 

“Leave now Sherlock.”

 

“Greg.” Sherlock moved forward but Greg held up his hands, closing his eyes for a moment as a hint of Sherlock's cologne reached his nose. He'd never forget that smell.

 

“Please, just go. _Please_.”

 

The first tear runs down his cheek as soon as Sherlock closes the door.

 


	2. Four months later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you here Sherlock?"

"Lestrade. Greg. I-"

He doesn't know what to say when he sees Sherlock standing there, face blank but his body so tightly wound Greg's afraid he'll snap in half. His own body isn't doing much better, the tension setting in the second those bright, focused eyes find him. He can't help his mouth from going in a line, a frown forming between his eyes and he sees the glimmer of disappointment on Sherlock's face.

 

“What did you expect Sherlock?”

 

He only realizes he's said it out loud when Sherlock's posture falls completely, deflating like a balloon, all hope gone from his eyes as he turns to leave.

 

“This was a mistake.”

 

The hurt is so clear, so potent it snaps Greg out of his initial anger and disbelief, grabbing Sherlock's arm to stop him from walking further away. Feeling Sherlock's muscles underneath his hand sends a shock through him and he lets go as if burned. Body and mind on fire.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

He hasn't heard or seen the man in months, not since that night when Sherlock had kissed him to prove a point. It still kept him up at night, the feeling of Sherlock's lips against his, how he tasted, how Sherlock's body fitted perfectly against Greg's. How vial and angry Sherlock's voice had been when he told him the real reason for the kiss. The hurt and humiliation he'd felt when it turned out it was all just an experiment. The hatred towards John for starting it all.

 

“I came to- I wanted to- John is-”

 

“I don't want to hear about _John_.” Greg snaps and he sees Sherlock flinch at his outburst, eyes zooming on on Greg's right hand that's now turned into a fist. Greg takes a breath, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again, staring into Sherlock's eyes, willing his body to relax.

 

Sherlock keeps watching him with caution and Greg tries to give a reassuring smile but doesn't quite make it. He's still hurt and upset and Sherlock being so close isn't helping at all. _He looks beautiful_.

 

It's infuriating that he still looks at Sherlock and only sees the beautiful parts of him, only wants to focus on the good sides. He wants to invite him in, push him against the wall and kiss him senseless. A gush of wind comes out of nowhere and Sherlock shivers, even though he's wrapped up in his coat and scarf.

 

“Oh fine! Come inside before you freeze to death.” Greg huffs and opens the door wider, Sherlock only hesitating a second before coming in, brushing past Greg and moving to the living room. But instead of flopping down on the sofa as if he owns the place, he stands still in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, head down _. He belongs here._

 

Greg shakes his head, angry with himself and his stupid brain.

 

“You can sit down Sherlock. Want something to drink?” He gestures towards the sofa but Sherlock keeps standing there, looking at the ground and Greg can almost see his mind working, the gears turning and grinding.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

It's soft and unsure but Greg hears it anyway and his heart skips a beat when Sherlock looks up and he sees the beginning of tears in the man's eyes.

 

“I. I made a b-big mistake. I s-should have never d-doubted you. You've been nothing but p-patient and k-kind and I- I was ungrateful. I w-wanted to believe you but-but.”

 

Sherlock stops and Greg sees the tears fall over his cheeks, falling to the ground. Before he can even think about it, he's at Sherlock's side, a hand over his shoulder and Sherlock turns, burying his face in Greg's shirt. He feels the shockwaves in Sherlock's body as he cries, almost without a sound but the tears are gathering up in Greg's shirt, Sherlock's fingers holding onto his shirt for dear life.

 

It takes a moment to act and Greg gently pets Sherlock's back, stroking it up and down, just holding Sherlock close. He wants to say something, tell Sherlock it's all right and he forgives him but the words stay stuck in his throat so he just stands there instead, giving Sherlock time to break down.

 

After a few minutes, the trembling in Sherlock's frame lessens and he feels Sherlock tense. He's about to step back, give Sherlock the chance to move and compose himself but Sherlock just holds on more tightly, head still hiding against Greg's chest.

 

“I'm so sorry.”

 

It's full of sorrow and regret and Greg feels his resolve fade, the brokenness in Sherlock's voice making his heart crack. He reaches up a hand to pet Sherlock's hair, taking a breath as he holds onto the man more firmly. The tension in Sherlock's body is gone after only a few seconds and this time Greg gently pushes Sherlock away, creating some space to look at the man in question.

 

“Sherlock?”

 

He lifts Sherlock's head up with a knuckle, seeing the redness in Sherlock's eyes, the guilt and shame clearly visible as Sherlock's face goes a fraction paler. Sherlock's fingers still cling to Greg's shirt and he slowly removes them, squeezing Sherlock's hands once before guiding him to the sofa.

 

“Sit down. I'll go get some water. We should talk.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and see you soon!
> 
> You can also find me here: https://readingfanficswrites.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Please, please give me a chance to explain. Please, Greg, if you still want me out of your life after that, then I'll go but- but I'm asking for a chance.”

When Greg gets back, Sherlock is still in the same spot, in the exact same position, head down at the ground. He startles when Greg hands him the glass and Greg sees his hands tremble when he takes it, bringing it slowly to his mouth and drinking half of it in one go.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Somehow hearing Sherlock say thank you makes Greg feel uneasy and he takes back the glass from Sherlock, setting it down on the table a little too hard. He's never seen Sherlock like this before, can't even remember seeing him cry, or being anything but confident and sure. He's like a totally different person and Greg's not sure how to deal with the situation. It would be easier if he was still angry but hearing how broken and honest Sherlock is, he can't help but feel for the man.

 

“It's all my fault, Greg. John prodded and pushed but it would have never worked if I didn't suspect it on some level.”

 

“Are you saying-”

 

“Please, please give me a chance to explain. Please, Greg, if you still want me out of your life after that, then I'll go but- but I'm asking for a chance.”

 

Sherlock's eyes burn with desperation and Greg can't do anything else but nod. The relief is clear on Sherlock's face, his features softening just a fraction and Greg realizes he's never seen this side of him before. _What's going on?!_ In the time they've known each other Sherlock has always gone out of his way to keep his distance, to stay professional. He never talks much about his personal life and sometimes Greg isn't even sure the man has one. It seems to him Sherlock is always working, going around London to look for clues, learning about crime, criminals and other things to help him.

 

Now Sherlock is sitting in his living room with such an open expression on his face it makes Greg feel uneasy. As if seeing something that's not meant for him.

 

“I'll always be grateful for the chance you gave me. If it hadn't been for you I would still be out there. A junkie looking for a fix.” Sherlock waves at the window, a pensive look on his face. “I still don't know why you decided to give me a chance. At first, I thought it was Mycroft's doing, maybe he gave you money to help me.”

 

Greg is about to protest, he didn't even know Sherlock had a brother until Mycroft showed up at his workplace, pompous and superior, thinking he could intimidate Greg to spy on his younger brother.

 

“I know it wasn't Mycroft, just the way you acted when he did come for a visit told me enough.” Sherlock gives a little smile and Greg gives a nod in return. He sees the flash of disappointment in Sherlock's eyes and it strikes him again how different the man is today. There was a time when they first met that he thought Sherlock was more like a robot than a human being, always so careful with his emotions and feelings, always hiding behind his mind and arrogance. _How could I possibly think he was a sociopath?_

 

Greg blinks, his heart stopping for a second as he remembers Sherlock's claim from long ago.

 

“I'm a sociopath, do your research.”

 

The man before him now just seems broken and lost, all the arrogance gone. It makes Sherlock seem even younger and the instinct to protect him, to shield him from the world is again rearing its head. Having Sherlock near him always brings it out, that need to help him, to give him everything he needs and wants. To keep Sherlock by his side.

 

“When I heard Mycroft had nothing to do with it, that you even turned him down, it didn't make any sense. You didn't know me, and how I acted at the time wasn't a reason to want to help me. I was a prat and a know it all. Thinking I was the smart one.”

 

“You are smart Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock gives Greg a look before shrugging his shoulders.

 

“Maybe, but I'm nothing without- You taught me the most important things Lestrade.”

 

Sherlock looks down for a second, a little blush on his face when he meets Greg's gaze. Greg is speechless, opening his mouth to say something but coming up blank.

 

“I taught you?”

 

He sounds like an idiot, expecting and half hoping to see Sherlock's famous eye roll but it never comes. Instead, Sherlock's cheeks go a shade darker, his eyes blinking rapidly three times as he swallows.

 

“You don't know.” It's not a question but Greg shakes his head anyway. If anyone had been learning it had been Greg. His education and training had brought him to DI but Sherlock was opening up his world in ways he didn't even know. How the man could look at something as small as ash and know, not only the brand but where it had been made, who had smoked it and how long ago, was amazing. He couldn't come up with a single situation where he had taught something to Sherlock.

 

“You taught me about kindness, patience, respect. How you earn it by first giving it. You taught me how to deal with people, with stressful situations. You taught me how to be a better version of myself Greg, and I- I threw it all in your face the moment I- I kissed you.”

 

“You're the first person that has been kind to me without wanting something in return. You looked at me and saw more than just my looks or my intelligence. I guess I've always been waiting for the moment when that would change and you'd ask your reward for saving the junkie.”

 

“Sherlock!”

 

“I know, I know.” Sherlock's eyes are sad and guilty, his posture folding into himself as he takes a deep breath.

 

“When John told me that you probably held me around because you wanted to fu- sleep with me, it brought all those insecurities back. I had to do something, had to prove to John and myself that it wasn't true. That's why I kissed you and I- I panicked when you kissed back. I didn't expect-”

 

Sherlock stopped, shaking his head in frustration, wringing his hands together.

 

“I didn't expect you to kiss me back and it felt so good and amazing. I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop but then John's voice came into my head and I- I'm sorry Greg. I should have never done that. The moment you told me to go I knew what a big mistake I'd made. The look on your face when- I'll understand if you never want to hear from me again.”

 

Silence settles and Greg runs Sherlock's words over in his head, trying to make sense of this information and connected it to what happened months ago. He sees the twitching of Sherlock's hands and reaches out, placing his own hand on top of it. It causes Sherlock to jump just a little, his eyes wide as they look at Greg and Greg gives a little smile, squeezing once.

 

“Why did you stay? If you thought I would- in the beginning, why did you stay anyway?”

 

Sherlock's face flames up and he turns his head, staring at the bookcase.

 

“Cause you never once did something to suggest- I trusted you. And you made me feel in control of my own life again, letting me assist with cases, giving me something to focus on. It helped stop my mind, I wasn't all over the place anymore. I've been such a fool.”

 

A new tear forms and Greg reaches out to brush it away, seeing Sherlock's eyes flutter closed for a second, his mouth open just a little. He looks young and vulnerable and Greg has to stop himself from hugging Sherlock again, locking the door and staying inside for the rest of winter.

 

“I won't lie, Sherlock, what you did, it hurt me. I was humiliated and angry. I always thought we had a good partnership, maybe not friends but at least an understanding and mutual respect. When you accused me of _that_ , I just couldn't believe it. You need to know that was never the reason I 'kept you around'.”

 

Greg almost spat it out, it sounded more like Sherlock was a pet than an actual person and he hated John Watson with all his soul.

 

“John was wrong. I never helped you because I wanted to fuck you. I can't explain it either Sherlock, there was just something about you, your quick wit and how you acted that made me stop and think. You're brilliant Sherlock and I- I knew I could learn from you. It was never about- about bedding you.”

 

God, just having to say it out loud made Greg feel sick. But it was true, his feelings for Sherlock had only recently changed, and even then it was more about love and admiration then lust. Somehow Sherlock had gotten under his skin but he'd done his damn hardest to keep acting normal, to stay professional. He'd never risk his relationship with the man for just a quick one night stand. Sherlock was so much more than that and he hated how John had twisted their history into something so basic and animalistic.

 

“But you kissed me back when-”

 

Greg withdrew his hands, holding them up in the air for a second before placing them back on his lap.

 

“It's like I said Sherlock, I won't apologize for my feelings for you. But I would have never, _never_ acted on them. I would have never abused you like that Sherlock. I only kissed back because you started it and I thought that you-”

 

“That I meant it.”

 

“Yes.” There was no point in denying it but it still stung, knowing he'd been able to taste Sherlock and it had all been some sick experiment. Not real at all.

 

“I'm sorry Greg.”

 

“Me too Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock looked down in shame and Greg felt tired, suddenly exhausted with this whirlwind of emotions and revelations. He shouldn't be so disappointed really, he'd always known it was safe to fantasize about something more with Sherlock cause the man was so beyond his reach. He watched Sherlock's profile as the silence settled around them, noticing the sharp features, his soft looking curls, the lushes lips. A stab of pain entered his stomach as he remembered how they'd felt against his own lips, how Sherlock had whispered his name before all hell had broken loose. The man was in a league of his own and Greg shook his head lightly, a huff escaping him.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

Sherlock watched him with curiosity and Greg laughed, causing the man to jump beside him, a scowl on his face.

 

“Sorry! Sorry, it's just- I've been such an idiot thinking you'd fall for a man like me. I should have known something was wrong the moment you kissed me. I just realized how silly I was for believing it had been real. Oh god.” Greg felt tears run down his face as the laughter took over. He couldn't seem to stop, his stomach contracting as he laughed, trying to wipe the tears away.

 

“In a few years time, this will be so funny!” Greg took a few deep breaths, trying to get himself in control again, getting out a handkerchief to wipe away the tears. He turned to look at Sherlock, expecting the man to laugh with him but Sherlock's face was serious, the frown from before only growing as he looked Greg over.

 

“You think you're not good enough for me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this story so far? Please let me know in the comments.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and see you soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is unbelievable! You can't possibly believe I am worthy of you?! You're a DI, a damn good one. People respect you, they like you! How could you ever think I'd been good enough for you?”

The surprise was so clear in Sherlock's voice it stopped Greg's laugh instantly. Sherlock's face was still serious, his mouth in a tight line and his eyes watching Greg with such intense focus it made Greg squirm in his seat. This thing Sherlock did, looking at you as if seeing all your thoughts, was weird but this time it was different. This time it felt like Sherlock was looking right into his soul, getting to the very core of him.

 

“You do. You think you're not good enough for me.” Sherlock's voice was soft, a mix of awe and upset as he tilted his head to watch him. Greg realized he was holding his breath this whole time and he let it out, ready to say something, anything to make Sherlock stop looking at him like that.

 

“Well, it's only-”

 

“How can you be such an idiot, Lestrade?”

 

Sherlock moved, suddenly up and looking down at Greg with fire in his eyes. Greg felt his mouth fall open because of Sherlock's reaction and Sherlock shook his head, moving from side to side as he kept throwing glances at Greg.

 

“This is unbelievable! You can't possibly believe I am worthy of you?! You're a DI, a damn good one. People respect you, they like you! How could you ever think I'd been good enough for you?”

 

“Sher-” Greg started to speak but his words died, Sherlock's words slowly reaching his ears, needing time to process as Sherlock just went on, pacing back and forth.

 

“I'm an ex-junkie and a freak! Nobody ever wants to spend time with me, let alone dream of being with me. Why would you? You're respectable and good-looking with a decent job. You're fit and strong. You have all the right proportions and I know of at least four people that would sleep with you if you only winked at them.”

 

“Sherl-” But he couldn't get a word in, Sherlock still rambling on, his eyes looking past Greg, the frown on his forehead even deeper.

 

“I cut up body parts in my free time, can't interact with people and feel more comfortable around pets than humans. Not to mention I'm much younger than you and don't even have a steady job or anything else to offer. And yet you think you're not good enough for me?! Honestly Lestrade, that is absurd and- Oh.”

 

Sherlock's surprised intake of breath made Greg smile as he pressed his lips harder to Sherlock's. He couldn't get a single word in while Sherlock had been rambling but he'd finally figured out what Sherlock was saying. At least, he thought he did as Sherlock stood tense against him, his lips pressed to Greg's, hands to his sides. Greg leaned back a little, seeing Sherlock stare at him with wide eyes and he felt a wave of dread go over him.

 

_I was wrong, I was wrong. Oh my god, what did I do?!_

 

His mind was still screaming, on the verge of panic when Sherlock blinked his eyes, a light blush starting on his cheeks.

 

“I. You. You're too good for me Lestrade, surely you've figured it out by now?” Sherlock whispered, his breath hitting Greg's face and Greg shook his head, a little smile on his lips as Sherlock's hands came up around his waist.

 

“I'm an idiot Sherlock, don't you know?”

 

“Lestrade, I-”

 

“Stop up and kiss me, Sherlock. We've both been fools.”

 

He hears Sherlock moan as they kiss again, their tongue sliding against each other, Sherlock exploring every inch of his mouth before breaking apart, taking a deep breath as his eyes scan Greg's face. He looks amazing, eye wide and sparkling, face flushed, lips red and Greg wants to be a painter in that moment, having the ability to capture Sherlock like this, to hold onto it forever.

 

“John is gone!” Greg startles by Sherlock's loud voice, seeing him look down for a second before meeting Greg's gaze again, his fingers fiddling with a button on his shirt.

 

“Oh.”

 

“After I left, I told him what had happened, how you kissed me back, how you looked so hurt and upset when I- when I explained why I had kissed you in the first place. I wanted to send you a text, maybe even go to your house but John.” Sherlock stops, biting his lip, not meeting Greg's gaze anymore.

 

“Let's just say it didn't end well. He said some nasty things about you, things that just didn't make sense to me, especially after I'd seen how hurt you were. We- we got into an argument and then John tried to-”

 

Sherlock stops again, taking a shaky breath, his face determined as he looks into Greg's eyes, taking Greg's hands in his own.

 

“He tried to kiss me. Told me he was the only one worthy of me and now that I was banned from working with you we finally had time to be together.”

 

“Sherlock.”

 

“Greg breath, it's all fine. I'm here.” Sherlock gives a soft smile and Greg notices how tight his body is, how shallow his breathing. Sherlock squeezes his hands, pulling him back and that's when he realizes he was about to walk out and find John.

 

“He tried to- to make me see sense but it's like I finally realized what kind of a man he really was. He didn't want to leave at first and I had to ask Mycroft for help.” Sherlock looks put out by the idea but Greg sees a hint of vulnerability in there he hasn't seen a lot when his brother is mentioned.

 

“When Mycroft's people came it got ugly and John didn't go willingly. He attacked me. I guess he was upset by it all, or he didn't think I'd ever go through with it. Either way, he's gone now and he won't be coming back. Mycroft made sure of that.” A tiny smirk on Sherlock's lips and Greg nods. He's dealt with Mycroft Holmes before, he knows how dangerous the man can be, especially when someone is hurting his brother.

 

“God Sherlock, I can't believe- that bastard- and he hurt you!” Greg can't stop the image floating in his mind of John taking a swing at Sherlock, of Sherlock bleeding and in pain, Sherlock in the hospital all alone. It breaks his heart and suddenly arms are wrapped around him tightly, curls tickling his cheek.

 

“Don't do that, don't go there. It's over now and I'm fine.”

 

“But he hurt you, Sherlock! I can't believe- I should have figured out-”

 

“Don't blame yourself Lestrade, I'm a genius and I didn't figure out who he really was either.”

 

Sherlock looks up, shaking his head before giving Greg a kiss.

 

“That's why it took me so long to come here. I needed time to deal with it all and I was.. Afraid.”

 

“Oh, Sunshine.” Greg can't stop himself from letting the nickname out and he sees the confusion on Sherlock's face before it changes to delight, his eyes sparkling for a moment before he tries to look stern.

 

“I'm hardly that, Greg.”

 

“You are to me.”

 

Seeing Sherlock blush is wonderful and Greg can see the blush disappear underneath Sherlock's clothes, making him curious about how far it goes. Sherlock blinks his eyes rapidly, taking in Greg's face and suddenly a soft 'oh' fills up the room, the blush deepening fast before Sherlock looks over Greg's shoulder.

 

“Sherlock?”

 

“It's so strange. You've known me for almost two years.” Sherlock starts, his voice soft, a frown between his brows as he continues, still looking over Greg's shoulder. “You've known me when I was nothing but a junkie with an attitude problem and smart mouth. You know how I'm like, how unpleasant and rude I can be and yet-” Sherlock stops, eyes going to Greg's, his blush still in place.

 

“You really want me.” Surprise in Sherlock's voice, his eyes wide and Greg feels his mouth fall open, stunned by Sherlock's words.

 

“Of-of course I want you, Sherlock. I thought-”

 

“I'm not angry because of it. I just didn't really believe it until now. The w-way you look at me, as if-” Sherlock blinks, shaking his head slowly and Greg starts to relax, taking Sherlock's hand again.

 

“You are the most precious thing in my world Sherlock. I want you, you're right but it's not just, not just about wanting you, or wanting sex from you. I want you as my friend, my lover, my partner. I know you don't really do that sort of thing but-”

 

“I want that too!” Sherlock calls out and Greg stops talking, blinking again as Sherlock licks his lips. “I want to try to be that for you, Greg. Your friend, lover, and partner. I can't promise I'll always be good at it but I will try.”

 

“I don't want you to change Sherlock. I fell in love with you because of who you are, good and bad things. I don't want you to change or have to believe you need to be someone else to keep me.” Greg smiles, stroking Sherlock's cheek and seeing how wide Sherlock's eyes are suddenly.

 

“You okay Sunshine? I know it's a lot to take in so I understand if you need some time to-”

 

But Greg is caught off by Sherlock kissing him deeply, almost crawling into his lap, melting against his body and Greg can't do anything but react, kissing Sherlock just as fiercely, showing just how much he feels for the man. These past three months have been hell, not seeing Sherlock, replaying that whole scene in his head, going over every little detail that could have caused Sherlock to question his motives in the first place. He lets out a moan as Sherlock pulls back, face flushed and eyes shining and he reached up, cradling Sherlock's face, just watching him closely. He could have lost him forever, all because of John.

 

“I'm not going away now Lestrade. I've been a fool, thinking that- Can you forgive me?”

 

“Of course I can. You're here now and that's all that matters.” Greg smiles, receiving a real one from Sherlock in return and it lights up his whole world.

 

“Stay tonight?”

 

He sees the change in Sherlock's eyes as he strokes Sherlock's cheek, a little sliver of worry in them and Greg shakes his head, letting go of Sherlock's face and taking his hand instead.

 

“I don't mean to- Although I do want to- But we have time to-” Greg stumbles over his words and Sherlock rolls his eyes, amusement on his face.

 

“I understand Greg. I also want to have sex with you but you are right, we have time. But, I do want to kiss you again?” Sherlock's bravery falters in the last minute and Greg's sure his heart will explode. _How can he be so adorable?_ There is a spark of pride expanding his chest as he realizes not a lot of people have seen this side of Sherlock, open and honest, not afraid to be vulnerable. It's breathtaking and Greg smiles as he places a kiss on the corner of Sherlock's mouth, loving the way Sherlock's body sways towards him when he pulls back.

 

“I'll always want to kiss you, Sherlock Holmes. You never need to ask.” Greg whispers, seeing the delight in Sherlock's eyes before the man leans forward, setting Greg on fire in just mere seconds. He's panting by the time Sherlock pulls away, his cock very much awake and his body buzzing with want.

 

“Oh, Sunshine. You'll be the death of me.” His voice is rough and he sees the blush deepen on Sherlock's face, a smirk on his mouth.

 

“I'll do my best to not make that happen.” Sherlock answers, looking at Greg through his eyelashes and Greg squeezes Sherlock's hand.

 

“Then you have to stop looking like that. God, you're too gorgeous.” Greg sighs, kissing Sherlock again, his other hand going into Sherlock's curls, loving how soft they feel. Sherlock melts against his body, opening his mouth to give Greg access, letting it the most amazing sounds as Greg licks and bites his neck.

 

“I.I love you, Greg. I know it's too soon but I-” Sherlock sighs, his hands restless and Greg smiles, stroking Sherlock's curls.

 

“I've been in love with you ever since you fell into the Thames and got sick.”

 

“No!”

 

“Oh yes. Watching you sleep under all those blankets, seeing how peaceful you were. It just hit me like a brick that night.” Greg smiles as he thinks back on that night. How wonderful it was to see Sherlock as a human and not a super genius, how much trust he placed in Greg for allowing him in his flat, bringing him soup and toast. How they'd talked once Sherlock was a little better, the fever almost gone and how good it felt sitting side by side in front of the fire. Ever since that time Greg had watched Sherlock with different eyes and known how deep he'd fallen for the man.

 

“But that was, five months after we met. You mean all this time you-” Sherlock looks at Greg with shock before his face falls and Greg sees something close to horror in his beautiful eyes.

 

“And I did... Oh my god.” Sherlock closes his eyes and Greg sees the trembling in his hands.

 

“You've loved me all this time and I- I twisted it into something vile and horrible. Greg! How could you possibly forgive me?!”

 

“Sherlock. I already told you, I forgive you. You didn't know Sherlock, I did my very best to hide it, to act normal around you.” Greg tries to take hold of Sherlock's hand again but Sherlock gets up, the look in his eyes devastating, his body tense.

 

“Sherlock! Please don't go! I forgive you, I swear I do. You need to forgive yourself too.”

 

Greg gets up, his hands on Sherlock's biceps, seeing the shame and self-hate in Sherlock's eyes.

 

“Hey.” Greg's right-hand cradles Sherlock's face, making Sherlock look at him before continuing. “If anyone's to blame it's John. He probably saw what I felt for you and saw me as a threat. If it hadn't been for John you would have never known my true feelings.” Greg grinds his teeth together, knowing it's the truth. He hates John with all his heart but at the same time, if it wasn't for his jealousy, they wouldn't be here now.

 

“Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep it a secret?” Sherlock whispers, body still tense, eyes scanning Greg's face.

 

“Sherlock. Like you said, we'd only known each other for five months. You were still finding your ground, your own way and I didn't want people to gossip about you.”

 

“They already did.”

 

Greg flinches and Sherlock shrugs a shoulder. They both know it's true but it still hurts Greg how some people think of Sherlock, claiming he has no feelings, he's a freak and a psychopath.

 

“I wanted people to see how hard you worked Sherlock, how good you were and that you deserved the chance. I didn't want to stand between the work and you, didn't want to complicate things with my emotions and to be honest, I never believed I stood a chance so why risk it?”

 

Greg gives a tiny smile but the frown on Sherlock's face doesn't go away.

 

“You're an idiot Lestrade.”

 

“I know, you don't let me forget it.” Greg replies and Sherlock rolls his eyes before stepping a little closer, Greg's hands sliding down his arms and going around his waist.

 

“I would have said yes. Even then. Sometimes I thought there was something more between us but.” Sherlock shrugs again. “ As you said I needed to figure things out and I couldn't believe someone as you would be interested in me. Not after you'd seen how horrible my place was, how rude I could be, my drug addiction. It all seemed like a fantasy so I never pushed the issue. Not until John.”

 

“It's not a fantasy anymore.” Greg whispers, kissing Sherlock softly on the lips before wrapping him in a hug, feeling how well their bodies fit together.

 

“No, it's not. I'm sorry it took so long and how much I hurt you. I promise I will never hurt you again Greg. I love you.”

 

Greg shivers at Sherlock's words, feeling Sherlock's breath near his ear. He tightens his hold on Sherlock, the man responding by hugging back just as hard.

 

“I love you too Sunshine. I promise I'll do anything in my power to make this work.”

 

“As will I.” Sherlock moves, placing a kiss on Greg's cheek before shyly looking at him. “Let's go to bed?”

 

The blush on Sherlock's face is adorable and Greg smiles, feeling on top of the world as he takes Sherlock's hand and brings it to his lips, giving the knuckles a kiss.

 

“I wouldn't want anything else. Let's go, darling.”

 

After they've changed, Sherlock wearing an old shirt of Greg's, they kiss and cuddle for what feels like hours. Gently exploring each other's skin, learning what they like and don't like. It's not like in the movies, no fireworks or urgency but it's all they need tonight.

 

“Night Greg,” Sherlock whispers, too tired to fight it anymore and he wraps himself around Greg, arm around Greg's waist, legs tangled with his. It's perfect and Greg hears Sherlock's breathing go down, soon soundly asleep, head on Greg's shoulder.

 

“Good night, Sunshine.”

 

THE END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this story. I hope you liked it. If you have some time, please let me know in the comments what you thought of it. 
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> You can also find me here with sneak peeks, little ficlets, behind the scenes stuff: https://readingfanficswrites.tumblr.com/


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